A Little Potty Humor

Long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I told Zachary that I would take him to Inflatable Wonderland when he was potty-trained. (I am sure he was just barely 3 at the time, but as you can see, I was already to the point of throwing bribes to the wind.) Though he had been to other "jumpy jumpy" places around town, as we like to call them for the sake of simplicity, Inflatable Wonderland was going to be that special place that would only be entered upon his successful completion of this very important developmental milestone. It didn't work very well as an incentive, however. Instead of enticing Zachary to actually do SOMETHING to BECOME potty-trained, he simply reminded me, every time we passed it in the mall, that someday he would go there when he was potty-trained. And, each time, approximately 5 seconds later, his mind would already be on something OTHER than being potty-trained. Eventually, as the months came and went with very little progress in that department, I decided in MY mind that we would probably NEVER be going to Inflatable Wonderland. "Woe is me," I'd think to myself. "I guess I'll have the first child to enter college in a Pull-Up."

Then comes the end of my long, sad story. Miracles do happen! Just recently, Zachary, literally, woke up one day COMPLETELY POTTY-TRAINED!!! After all those months and years of madness spent trying to get him to this same end, he did exactly what his pediatrician told me he'd do: He did it when HE was ready!

I am still counting the days since this miracle took place, but now I'm sure that it's the real deal. Zachary is 100% potty-trained! Not one single accident since Day 1, and we're well into the double digits. So, amid my joyous dancing and singing of the Hallelujah Chorus, one of the first things Zachary said to me was, "Now we can go to the jumpy jumpy place at the mall because I'm potty-trained!" Of course, he didn't forget. And I assured him that, YES, we would be going there very soon.

There was just one little dilemma: I didn't know what to do about Ashley. I wanted this trip to Inflatable Wonderland to be a really special reward for Zachary, but how could I leave her out? After all, she has been way ahead of him in terms of potty-training progress until, well, April 14th, to be exact. (Which, by the way, will probably now remain burned in my memory as one of the best days of my life...the day I became a believer.) Ashley is not far behind. I just didn't think it would be right to let her come, too, on the account of being almost potty-trained. However, with her birthday coming up, I thought Zachary might not mind too much if his sister got to join him for that reason. Of course, I hadn't said anything about this to Zachary. But somehow he just knew...

Last week, Grandma came over after work to go out for ice cream with us. One of the first things she said to Zachary was, "Zachary, I heard you're potty-trained! Are you going to go to the jumpy jumpy place at the mall now?!?" Ashley was standing there in the living room with us and her face lit up with excitement. "I want to go to the jumpy jumpy place at the mall!!!" Zachary turned to her and said, in complete seriousness, "No, Ashley. You have to stay with Grandma, because you're not potty-trained. Only I get to go to the jumpy jumpy place at the mall because I am potty-trained." And as if to add insult to injury, Zachary added, "Happy birthday to you, Ashley!"

Ouch!