Quick Change

Ashley has surprised us by learning a new trick. Last night, when I went in to make sure the kids' CD player was turned off before we went to bed, I discovered a peculiar present left on the floor. No, not THAT kind of present. Well, not exactly anyway. There, in the middle of the floor, was her (slightly wet) diaper...just sitting there waiting to be disposed of properly. Expecting to find her pants-less in the crib with wet sheets, I was merely annoyed by Ashley's initiative. But to find that she had removed her wet diaper and then REPLACED her pants all by herself while staying DRY...well, I couldn't have been more proud of this "first" for her. And, now, I guess she's mastered this new skill overnight because I made the same discovery this morning. Funny girl! (Let's just hope that she likes the dirty ones enough to keep them on!)

Counting Down to Candy

Zachary (tonight, and completely out of nowhere): "Maybe next time it will be Halloween behind the church!?" (hope, hope, hope)

Ahh, the Trunk or Treat. It's the most wonderful time of the year...for some, apparently.

Pimp My Ride (and Take Off That Packing Tape While You're at it!)

Yes, two months ago, the power window broke on the driver's side of my car. Being that this was the second time this has happened within one 356-day period, I have to thank the lovely service people at my local Ford dealership for their excellent workmanship the last time I had said window replaced. Unless there is something about power windows that require that they be used excessively to avoid disrepair, I cannot imagine why I am going through this again.

Never fear! "MacGyver Dad" to the rescue! At least this happened immediately after I took my dad out for a Father's Day lunch, so he felt compelled to help me find a temporary fix for the problem. (Actually, he would have done it no matter what. That's how nice he is!) He added some shiny new "bling" in the form of a few swatches of clear packing tape, and, voila! The window has stayed up just like that for the past two months.

Unfortunately, due to our busy summer schedule, I couldn't find a convenient time to "go green" and just live without my car, but I DID stretch our dollars a little further by putting off the repair. *AND* I now have a trusty do-it-yourself solution for broken power windows! If it weren't for a couple other recent motor quirks (imaginary, I am told), I bet that tape would have stuck for at least another month.

Thanks, "MacGyver Dad" for sparing me from having to replace this window again until at least next August!

Note to Service Department: Next August is a joke. See if you can really fix it this time, will ya? Oh, and would you mind removing the tape? I hear it is no longer in style. Thanks.

Golden Boy

I love watching the Olympics! I look forward to the next Games before the current ones are even over...and that, I'm afraid, is going to be happening too soon for my liking. I really get bitten by the Olympic bug. Like so many others whose blog posts I have read recently, I feel so proud to be an American during this time, but I also appreciate the national pride that ALL of the participants (the athletes, their families, the coaches, the spectators, the vendors who sell roasted scorpions on a stick...everyone, really) must feel when representing their countries during the Olympic Games.

I've been letting Zachary sneak out of his room after bedtime to watch some of my favorite Olympic competitions with me. The swimming, diving and gymnastics are at the top of my list during the Summer Games. Just now, as I went and found Zachary already perched in position and ready to watch, he motioned to the TV screen (as if to excuse himself for not officially having permission to be out of bed) and, with excitement, he announced, "Look, it's Michael Phillips [sic] ...and he is winning 600 golden medals!" Yeah, it sort of seems that way, doesn't it?

Oh, I love that Zachary, too, loves the Olympics already!

Remembering Ryan

Today commemorated the 6th anniversary of the day Chris and I said goodbye to our son, Ryan Jacob, whom we lost when I was 4 months pregnant. For many people, four months does not seem significant, but personally knowing this loss would give one a much different perspective as it has given me. The day that Ryan was born, the day that I held him for the first and last time on earth, will never be forgotten. The experience of becoming a mother to a child I will never raise in this lifetime has changed me in ways that I cannot begin to fully comprehend. After six years, I can truly say that I am at peace concerning him, but as I write this, I am reminded of how much I love and miss him. Ryan will always be a part of our family, and we do love him and cherish the hope we have of being reunited with him again someday.

Last night, I pulled out the video of an ultrasound that was taken 2 weeks before we learned our baby had died. We haven't watched this video in years, and I wanted to see him and to know that Chris, too, has not forgotten. As we were watching our son, a sense of familiarity returned but I was surprised at how much bigger he was than I had remembered. Toward the end of the video, there was a comedy of errors when I realized that we were actually watching a video of Zachary's ultrasound. Oops. :) I quickly found the right video, kept in a special box with the only tangible things we have to remind us of our little angel, and made Chris watch it with me all over again. We were up late anyway, so as it turned out, we ended up watching the right baby at the right time: 1:10 a.m., the actual time of Ryan's birth on August, 12, 2002. Leaving the hospital that following day without our baby was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but time has brought healing and his memory is sweet. I know that, one day, I will hold him again in Heaven.

Around this time each year, as I remember Ryan, I try to find some special way in which to honor him. It is important to me that I let his life, as brief as it was yet eternal, help me to become a better person. I have often felt that the loss of my son can enable me to feel greater compassion toward others, particularly those who experience difficult losses of their own. I will not share the details, but I am grateful to have recently had an opportunity to fulfill this desire of mine in a way that has, in turn, also brought greater peace and healing into my own life. Though I did not exactly plan for this to happen the way that it did, nor did I intend for it to be my gift to Ryan--or even myself--this year, this was something even more purposeful than anything I might have planned. It has reminded me that it is greater to love than to be loved.

"How very softly you tiptoed into our world. Almost silently. Only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint your tiny footprints have left upon our hearts!"